How to be an effective ally to women in the workplace

Kirsty keeps getting spoken over in meetings. The entire c-suite is made up of men. Samira has been passed over for a promotion even though she’s the team’s top performer. There’s only one woman on the 10-person board…

Great strides have been made, no doubt. But there’s still a long way to go before workplaces in the UK are equitable in terms of gender. No matter what industry, women still experience barriers and biases in the workplace because of their gender. These affect their careers, earning potential, and pensions.

If you’re wondering whether there’s anything you can do to join the cause, there absolutely is. We strongly encourage it – not only for the women but for yourself, too. There are so many ways you can use your standing as a man in your workplace to support and amplify the voices of women, to listen to what’s needed, and to help make that change happen.

But first, why is male allyship needed?

Why we need male allies 

Because men have a profound impact on gender equality efforts when they get involved. 

It makes sense if you think about workplaces across the UK where men still hold the majority of senior management and c-suites positions. This access to and influence over institutional power means male allies really drive change when they partner with women.

It’s also important that we don’t expect the oppressed group to be the only one burdened with changing the system. The dominant group, in this case men, can choose to stand in allyship for the cause too.

What makes an effective male ally?

Firstly, the knowledge and acceptance that it’s a continuous journey of learning. Read books, watch videos, listen to the women in your life (although don’t assume that every woman you know is going to be up for talking about this – it can be emotionally draining and it isn’t their responsibility to educate people whenever they’re asked. Seek out the information that’s already out there – there’s so much of it). Ensure you seek out stories from a variety of different women to see how different identities can intersect with gender to create unique experiences of oppression. And, most importantly, believe what you’re being told. 

Secondly, the understanding that you’ll get some things wrong but the courage to try anyway. This is a journey of continuous listening, learning, and acting. Men can often not say or do anything for fear of getting it wrong, but as long as your intentions are good, it’s best to try. How you react to being told you’ve done something wrong makes all the difference – rather than getting defensive and/or deciding to stop trying altogether, take the feedback on board, apologise, and change your behaviour for next time.

Finally, recognising your privilege as a man and what that means in terms of the workplace. It doesn’t mean you don’t have any struggles or troubles of your own – but it does mean that any difficulties you’re having are not because of your gender. The privilege you have may mean you have access to and influence over senior men within the organisation or ability to question things without being labelled ‘rude’, ‘bossy’ or ‘unlikeable’.

How to be a male ally in the workplace

Speak up. Call people in if you hear sexist banter or jokes and explain why it’s not appropriate, especially at work. (We talk about calling people in because calling someone out can push them out of the conversation and make them unlikely to change their behaviour, whereas calmly and kindly calling someone in supports them to understand.)

Invite women into the room. Look around the room and see who’s not there, invite women in if their knowledge, perspective or expertise means they should be there. Encourage your male colleagues to do the same.

Listen and believe. You’re going to hear things that you had no idea happen. You’re not going to be able to use your own experience to relate to them because your lived experience as a man is so different to the experiences of women. You also need to be open to feedback if your own behaviour has been perpetuating this, even accidentally.

Remember – always with, never for. You are standing with women, you’re not coming in and saving the day or centering yourself. Being a male ally means partnering with the women in your workplace to work alongside them or stepping back and amplifying their voices. It’s not about you.

Understand intersectionality. It’s important to understand the impact that intersectionality has on women’s experiences in the workplace. Intersectionality is the interconnected nature of the different social categorisations that people have like class, sexuality, and race. The more categories your identity intersects with, the more discrimination you will face. For example, a white woman may be discriminated against on the basis of her gender, whereas a Black woman may be discriminated against based on her race as well as her gender.

Embed and role model gender-equity at leadership level. Ensure your organisation’s male senior leaders are on board with creating a gender-equitable workplace. Company culture and what is and isn’t accepted comes from the top.

What are the benefits of being a male ally?

Many of the things identified to make workplaces equitable for women also benefit men. For example, flexible working, better parental leave, job-sharing, and an open and inclusive environment.

There are also benefits for the organisation itself because gender diversity leads to more innovation and bigger profits. Everyone in the organisation benefits from it doing well, not just women.

Women rising doesn’t mean men lose out – it’s not a zero-sum game. We can all win when we partner together.

Start your male allyship journey today

If you’re looking to engage the men in your workplace in the skills of allyship and inclusion, we’re here to help. 

At Male Allies UK we work with you to bring gender equity to the forefront of your diversity and inclusion efforts, from senior leadership right the way through the business.

We offer training programs and workshops, and our Founder, Lee Chambers, also does keynote speaking around his journey to becoming a male ally. 

To find out more check out our services page or get in touch to get started.

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